Just Say No

Your dog is not made of glass. 

Your dog’s ego and self-worth are not so fragile that he can’t handle being told, “no.”

You are not going to irreparably damage your relationship by setting boundaries and enforcing rules.

Let me be clear: I never, ever advocate hurting a dog.  Abuse is never okay.  Period.  Punishment, correction, setting rules and absolutes are not abuse. 

There has been a terrible shift over that past 30 years away from the concept of the word, “no.”  I’m not just thinking about dog training, I’m thinking about our society as a whole.  We have been trying so hard to be an inclusive and tolerant world that we have forgotten that rules are okay.  Boundaries are okay; especially for dogs who crave rules, structure and leadership.

Stop making excuses for your dog jumping up on people and make him stop it.  Make him understand that it is wrong and unacceptable.  You’re not going to make him not love you.  He will be grateful for the guidance so that he can remain in the room and be included in the conversation.

Stop avoiding walking your dog because she pulls on the leash.  Teach her a proper heel and correct her when she breaks it.  A life confined to the fenced-in yard is miserable.  Give her the chance to get out and see the world.  She deserves to get to go along.

Stop allowing your dog to be disrespectful.  He no longer lives in a dog pack, it is unacceptable to greet his human pack members with nips and snarls.  Hold him accountable for his choice and establish your role as the leader.  He’s not paying the bills in your house, he doesn’t get to make the rules.

Stop putting your human values on your dog.  She is a den animal; the crate is her safe place to be.  If you offer appropriate exercise- both mental and physical- she will have nothing but solace and enjoy the respite of her crate.  Just because YOU may feel confined does not mean that she will.

Finally, JUST SAY NO.  If you dog is licking the dirty dishes in the dishwasher as you’re loading it say no and tell him to get out of the kitchen.  Mean it.  If your dog is chewing on your shoes don’t reward that with a toy.  Tell her no, take the shoe away, be pissed off and tell her so.  If he’s on the couch and you don’t want him to be, if she’s screaming at passers-by, if he’s digging holes in the yard, if she’s generally being a menace- just say no.  Your dog will still love you, I promise.

The dogs in the picture are mine.  One I adopted at a year old and the other was a 5-year-old I fostered and failed.  Neither had a perfect start, both had awful habits but I took them into my home and promised to be their forever family.  I set the rules, I drew the lines and I enforced them.  I enforced them with love and shock collars, exercise and prong collars, good nutrition and discipline, quality healthcare and crates.  I love them enough to give them what they need to be their best selves.  That picture is not a fluke.  We go everywhere together and they get to be free because I love them enough to say no when they screw up. 

I’d love to hear from you, how do you set boundaries for your family?