Why

Why? It is so often the driving force behind everything we say, think and do.  We are in pursuit of the satisfaction of knowing why.  Sometimes that pursuit is so single-minded that it distracts from solving the problem itself.  As higher-order thinking beings, it makes sense that we strive to put things in order, to make things make sense.

Dogs are not so burdened.

Dogs don’t always need a reason why; they don’t tend to live in their wounds as we do.  Dogs don’t embrace victimhood and dwell on what happened. 

Dogs live in the now.

Now, before I get bombarded with one-off stories of dogs suffering from PTSD and dogs who have known true horrors that have affected their ability to live a full, free life, take a breath.  Of course there are exceptions to every rule.  However, the internet is so full of exceptions that we forget that there is an overwhelming, silent majority out there.  Let go of the exceptions and embrace the norm.

If your dog barks at men it does not always mean that he was abused by a man.  I’m willing to bet that he barks at women and squirrels, too, but you really only notice the men because it fits a narrative that is comfortable for you.  

If your dog balks at going into the crate it does not mean that he was forced to spend long periods in a crate.  It probably means he doesn’t want you to leave and that’s what the crate represents.

If your dog chews your shoes but not your husband’s, it does not mean he hates you.  Your feet stink better to him than your husband’s do.

And this, this is the coup de gras.  Your rescued dog does not spend every waking minute thinking about the horrors of his life before he was rescued!  He likely only remembers that he was saved.

Your dog is not living in his wounds, you are.  You are making excuses for his behavior because you want there to be a reason why other than, “He’s a dog.”  He is part of your family, I get that.  Maybe he sleeps in your bed, maybe you cook homemade food for him, maybe you cancel plans with people because it’s a beautiful day to take a hike with just him.  Full disclosure, that’s personal experience right there and I’ll add that if I could find the medical team to do it I would donate one of my kidneys to my dog to relieve his chronic kidney disease. 

Dogs are family, but they’re not people and they never will be.

Stop making excuses for your dog’s behavior in pursuit of the why.  Your dog is being a shithead because you let him.  There you go.  That’s your why.  Demand that he be respectful and obey the rules of the human pack that he lives in and stop letting him get away with shitty behavior because you’re searching for the why. 

Stop treating him like a person.

Once more for the people in the back: STOP TREATING HIM LIKE A PERSON!

He’s not dwelling on the why, he’s not living in his wounds, he’s not acting out over what was so stop allowing him to be rude, disrespectful and ill-behaved “because” of it.  He is so ready for you to lead him into a better life; a life that makes sense because the boundaries are clear and the rules are consistent.  Embrace your dog’s attitude of letting go and stop living in your wounds.  You will both be better for it.