Imagine

It happened again yesterday. 

I was out with my dogs, having a nice stroll.  (Pony is not yet cleared for full-blown romping post-ACL surgery so we were only strolling.)  Someone else came upon us with her ill-behaved dog, she glared at my off-leash dogs.  I put them in a down/stay so she could pass peacefully.  Her little dog was barking ferociously and pulling with all its might on the end of the leash; the harness was enabling the pulling. 

She did not walk by us, she glared and turned to walk the other way. 

I don’t know exactly what she was thinking.  Maybe she was embarrassed?  Maybe envious?  For sure, she was noticing the difference between her little dog being hideously inappropriate while my German Shepherd and Spaniel/Terrier Mix were silently respectful, waiting for my release before getting up.  I’d be willing to bet dollars to donuts that she was thinking my dogs’ unleashed status was making hers bark. 

Let me assure you that if my dogs’ leashes had been attached to their collars rather than hanging from my belt loop nothing would have changed.  Perhaps I would have needed to stoop over a bit because Pony likes to lie down instead of sit if it will be more than 30 seconds but they would have remained as still and quiet on the end of my leash as her little dog was agitated and unhinged on the end of hers.

If she had asked, “How do you get them to do that?” I would have gladly helped her.  If she had apologized or in some manner acknowledged her dog’s inappropriate behavior I would have empathized, told her about what hot messes my two were before training and I would have helped her.  If she would have looked beyond the circumstance to the core of the issue, I could have helped her.

But she didn’t.  She saw only that her dog was upset and instead of seeing that it was HER DOG with the problem she pegged mine as the problem.  Why?  Because it’s infinitely easier to blame something else than it is to admit your own shortcomings.  Very much like an addict, one must admit they have a problem before they can get help. 

My heart broke for that little dog.  The anxiety it was feeling as it screamed must have been overwhelming.  I so wanted to help him, help her, to bring peace to his little mind and by extension their family.  I did not have that chance. 

I suspect she went home and told her partner or friends all about the awful woman at the park who didn’t have her dogs on a leash and because of that she had to cut her walk short as it upset her little dog so much.  She would have blamed his subsequent nervous behavior on the morning’s encounter.  Maybe she’ll decide that it’s not safe to walk anymore and instead invest in a fence so he can run around all day long.  (Pro Tip: this will likely make things worse as isolation and enclosure aversion will escalate his already anxious mind.)

I can’t say for sure but my gut tells me that she will make a few adaptations in an effort to change the environment for her dog so that he doesn’t react.  That’s going to be a terrific temporary solution.  The problem is that another situation will arise that will set off her dog again.  Maybe she will try to change the environment again.  It will work for a short while again.

The core issue here is that we cannot adapt the environment to suit our dogs but we can- and we should- adapt our dogs to suit the environment.

I’m still thinking about that little dog.  I’m worried about him.  I want to help him and his mom feel better about being out in the world.  I want her to see me and my dogs at the park and have the response be, “Hey, Mia!  Let’s walk together.”  I can imagine it; we walk and chat about the weather while we sip our coffee.  Our dogs romp and play together as we go along, not straying too far and quietly respecting our commands to sit and stay as another dog passes by.  Then I’ll go home, she’ll go home, all of the dogs will find their favorite morning nap spot and life will be peaceful for all. 

Some may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.